Day 336

Barf! I’ve been infected with some damn stomach bug, and I am sadly missing day 3 of my birthday month. Blarg! I made it to work this morning. Shot some projects that are due soon. Sat there and looked at the images I made. Sat there knowing I needed to get up and change the set but just couldn’t move. I made it until 11:30 when I left to come home. I crawled into bed and didn’t wake up until 2:00. I had delusions of grandeur about going back to work after a quick nap. That didn’t happen.

Recently I was reading my journal from India.  I worried constantly about everything. I worried about my international flights going smoothly, they didn’t. I worried about getting sick in India, I didn’t. I worried about getting kidnapped, I didn’t. Although, I did get picked up from the airport at 2:30 in the morning, and as we drove away the driver suddenly stopped. I sat there in shock that I didn’t even get a mile into the country before I got kidnapped. I watched my driver run back towards the airport and pick something up off the street then make his way back to the car. He left the Intrepid travel sign he used to help me find him on the roof of the car. It flew off when he drove away. Doh!

In my defense, I was meeting up with a tour group there, and I knew our schedule would be crazy. We spent one to two nights in each location. We rode overnight trains, busses, tuk tuks. We moved at a hectic pace. I didn’t want to be sick and trying to find bathrooms on train platforms or on the streets. I was lost everywhere we went so looking for a bathroom would have overcomplicated my time. But still the worry was excessive.

I really didn’t have anything to worry about at all. I was fine. The trip was magical. I worried and worried for nothing. I did learn the important lesson that it doesn’t make the trip enjoyable if I’m focused on not getting sick. Next time I’ll just take normal precautions, but I’m not going to stress about anything as basic as getting sick.

Lately it seems like I’m slipping back into the same worry habit. Is my job secure? How will my business venture do in the future? Will my kids ever get a job? Should I go to life coach school? How much is this home renovation going to cost us? Can we truly afford it? Where will I put my tattoo on September 1st? Do I want Sonoran dogs or sushi? Do I want to go to Mexico or California for my birthday? Yes, very much first world problems. Which is why it’s ridiculous and I want to get back to my fresh from India mindset.

This is also probably why I’m sick right now! I need to chill the fuck out! Relax! Believe that it is all going to work out. It did in India. It will now. Breaaatttthhhheee!!!

 

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