I didn’t think about what getting sober would do to my relationship with Iz. I just assumed it would get better, so when it got tense and rocky over the last couple months, I wasn’t prepared and had no idea how to deal with it.
Our relationship started 7 years ago with us both fresh out of our marriages. We were both drinking pretty heavily. My drinking definitely escalated as our relationship went on while his pretty much stayed the same. When we stopped everything got better. It was like magic and someone had lifted the curtain to reveal our perfect wonderful best selves.
It’s great to find our best selves but our best selves still had problems to deal with. Working through the old problems and dealing with new ones turned out to be tricky. Still less tricky than when we were drinking, but still big old sticky tricky problems.
I know I’m very lucky to have someone getting sober along with me, but as things got tense I wondered if we were no longer compatible. Nothing seemed to be clicking. We weren’t talking the way we used to.
This Friday it all came out and my fear of us needing to break up was unearthed. I heard all the warnings about not making any decisions the first year of sobriety so I was prepared to stick this out for a year. Luckily, it seems that all we needed was a good heart to heart and a good staycation.
We vacationed in our own back yard and that was the best thing we could have done for our relationship. Saturday night we went to the Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art and dinner at The Mission.
The art installation, Ocean of Light: Submergence – A Squidsoup Project was incredible to see in person. Being surrounded by strings of light and artsy fartsy techno-esque music playing. It was fun to sit on the side just watching the lights change and everyone posing for selfies. Dinner at The Mission was amazing. We ate so much food. A cheese plate, tableside guac, Mexican corn, mahi mahi tacos, duck confit empanada, and rice to die for. We had planned to order dessert but when the girls next to us complained about theirs, we decided to skip it.
Sunday morning we got up early to hike in the Superstitions. The Wave Cave is a 3 mile out and back trail to a cave in the side of the mountain. It’s a nice hike but even getting on the trail by 7am it was hot and we were sweating profusely by the time we climbed the 800 feet of elevations. 800 doesn’t seem like a lot but it’s all at the end to reach the cave.
But it was all worth it, and I look forward to doing it again. Maybe when Fall arrives and the temps are a little cooler.
This weekend was needed. I feel recharged and refreshed and ready to take on whatever is next. Oh, I know what’s next, the kitchen remodel…..eeek! We have to get the kitchen packed up this week and stay at an airbnb all next week. It’s a good thing we did some relationship mending this last weekend so we are less likely to get all stabby.