Day 41 & 42

Getting Honest

I’m a quitter. I know you’re probably thinking ‘oh well, that didn’t take long’. No, I didn’t start drinking again. I haven’t gone back to the bottle, but I do have a long list of things I have quit in the past. Even the not so recent past. I’ve quit jobs, college, businesses, relationships, projects, animals, friends, classes, workshops. If it gets hard? I get out.

I’m not proud of this. No one should be proud of being a quitter. I have a quote on office wall right now that says

“Many of lifes failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up” – Thomas A Edison

I have been thinking about that a lot lately. How many times I gave up on something right before it was successful. I find myself starting over and over and over again instead of pushing through the hard stuff to get to the good stuff. I’m 45 and once again find myself looking for work and wishing I would have just stuck with something in my life.

That’s a lie. I am a photographer. I have been a photographer for over 15 years now. Rarely have I made money as a photographer. If we are getting deep into my shit then I’ll admit here that I hate charging for my work. Even with Women on Adventures I hate asking for money! With photography and WoA I am providing awesome services, but can I say “hey, give me a dime for all of this awesome shit you are getting out of me?” NOPE! I just sit here broke broke broke and applying for jobs that I am way overqualified for. I need a life coach….

My point here is there is no point. I wanted to get this out of my head and add it to the list of things I’m working on.

Random Photo:

Untitled

Axl

One thought on “Day 41 & 42

  1. I can totally relate. I’ve walked away from jobs, education opportunities, beloved animals, relationships, living situations & much more, all because I either didn’t have the confidence in myself to see it through, or I was already convinced that it wasn’t going to be any good anyway. Learning to take things one step at a time, having patience & persistence, and advocating for myself when necessary is quite hard, but so worth it.

    Like

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