Yesterday I was complaining to Izaak about being overwhelmed. My response to it was avoid everything. After I hinted about needing “space” I realized the ridiculousness of what I was doing. Trying to avoid all of the things in my life that challenge me is not the answer to my feelings of being uncomfortable and/or overwhelmed.
I am a perpetual runner. I know this about myself but didn’t realize how prevalent is really is in my life. I run away from anything that makes me uncomfortable. Really, look at the blog title! I thought if I threw in the word happy it would be okay to be running away. I know I’m pretending the blog is about actual running, when it’s not, or pretending I’m happy, when I’m not. It had me thinking about what am I going to do about it. I have a lot of really good things and people in my life. I know this to be true. My own happiness, or lack of, is my own shit. They are not responsible for my sadness nor my unhappiness. I am.
We are moving to Phoenix soon and I am realizing more and more that it’s another version of running away. I am realizing that I need to stop running and really work on my shit before we move. I have time to do that. I just need to do it. Today I was reading through some blogs and I came across this video. I love Hailey. Huge fan of hers ever since she was on Creative Live. She made me think about photography in a new way and actually want to make videos (I’m still learning). I admire the work she does both professionally and personally.
Well, I’m not one to run away from signs so I am taking this as a sign of some work I need to do. Working though some discomfort to get to a good place is something I have been needing to do for a long time. I’m sharing here to hold myself accountable. I am going to start today. 365 Grateful. Go.